


Tinkerings

by Bloomer



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Gen, pre-Jaffa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 14:25:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2028402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloomer/pseuds/Bloomer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't fix those who are not broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tinkerings

In which we discover why Lalna can't really remember things too well. Set before the Jaffa Factory, just after the Sjin/Lalna war.

~

Deep into the core of Yoglabs, where only one man knew about, Xephos watched his dear friend eat someone.

He sighed, heavily. This Lalna- Lalnable, he called himself- was obviously unstable to use as a clone. Xephos scribbled something quick on his notepad, and turned the lights off in the room he was looking into.

The sounds of teeth ripping into flesh and bones being crunched came to a confused pause. Xephos needed to work, damn it. He needed Lalna to work.

After the whole War Incident, in which Sjin and Lalna practically caused a genocide over a squabble, Xephos immediately signed his friend up for cloning. Re-organise his genes to make him more adaptable and controllable in daily life. 

Wars were just too expensive to have on a monthly basis, and the land would be destroyed. His friends, too. Xephos didn't want that, not at all. 

Sjin would be left to his own devices. After all, he was a grown man with the heart of a child- Sips would deal with him, in his own way. There were rumours of them setting up a factory- rumours Xephos would need to deal with, he was sure. 

His thoughts were interrupted as he reached the cloning vats. He muttered the numbers aloud, looking for the familiar vat #0341. 

And there he was. 

Frozen in the crystalline substance, Lalna's familiar sad expression stared down Xephos, the tear now permanently producing from Lalna's eye. 

Xephos had seen his friend like this too many times. He didn't feel guilty anymore. Just...hollow. 

"He was a bust too, friend." Xephos said, leaning against the tube and sliding down, taking off his jacket. "Probably the worst one. A cannibal, Lalna- I mean, really?" 

No reply, as per usual. "Honeydew's all right. We're all waiting for you to come home, of course. It's just taking a while to get you...well, right." Xephos said, looking up at his friend. 

That thought came to him again. He already was right, and you know it. Xephos wouldn't argue with himself anymore, like he used to. He knew fine well what a terrible person he was for freezing his friend and re-constructing his DNA.  
All he wanted was Lalna back home. 

"All right, well...I'll see you soon, friend." Xephos said, standing up, and walking away from the body.

~

A few months later...

~

"Honeydew. Honeydew, shit, it's working." 

"It's working! It's actually working!" 

The two men couldn't contain their joy. They would see their friend again- no clones, no crystalline substances, no frozen tears...

They would see Lalna.  
Vat #0341 started to hum, as steam bellowed out of the pipes. Honeydew jumped up and down in giddy euphoria, and Xephos was tearful with glee. 

A few beeps went off, and the crystalline substance slowly melted to a liquid state, before pouring down a drain located at Lalna's feet. 

A few final hums and whirs, and the door sprung open. Xephos and Honeydew stepped back, feeling a mixture of anxiety and excitement. 

Lalna blinked, looking around him. His eyes were unfocused, bleak; he looked hungover, if anything. 

He took a cautious step out of the tube, and his legs immediately gave way. The scientist hadn't walked for months on end, nearly a whole year; his friends caught his shoulders. 

Lalna held onto the dwarf and spaceman's helping hands, as he hoisted himself to a standing position. "Oh, god...where am I?" he groaned, feeling foggy.

Xephos beamed. "You're back, friend."

~

a few days later...

~

Xephos, Honeydew, and Lalna rested in a beautiful, flowery plain. Their new base for their Jaffa Factory. Honeydew and Xephos' days of Israphel were far over now, and Lalna made his peace with Sjin (sort of.) It was time for something new, something...industrial. 

"This is the life, eh, lads?" Honeydew asked his friends, lying down on the grass, head in Xephos' lap, and feet on Lalna's chest. "A good future ahead of us, and we're all together again. Plus, we're getting a fuck ton of free Jaffa's!"

"They're not free, Honeydew," Xephos corrected, "we're making them ourselves to sell. I doubt we'll really get any, honestly."

"Quit speaking nonsense, Xephos. I'm the boss of the Jaffa's, now!" Honeydew grinned, reaching his arms out, as if reaching for the stars. Xephos chuckled, before noticing Lalna had gone quiet again. 

"Are you alright there, friend?" he asked, placing a hand on Lalna's shoulder. Lalna looked over, with a conflicted expression. 

"What'll happen to my other clones?" He asked. "I mean, they're still me, but...not? will we tell people the difference- will they notice?" 

Xephos shrugged. "They're all Lalna's. They were the ones who wanted to keep living, and were stable enough to do so. It's an experiment, you see. One wanted to work with Sjin, which is a good sign." 

Lalna looked up to the moonlit sky, listening to the flickers of the fire. Honeydew knudged Lalna's knee. "You're the original, mate. The best. Always remember that." he said. 

Lalna looked at his friends, smiling. "Guys...promise me something."

"No, Lalna, i'm not using gags and whips, i'm fragile." Honeydew joked, laughing with the spaceman. "I'm serious!" Lalna said, resisting a grin. 

"What is it, friend?" Xephos asked. "We'll do anything."

"Promise me we'll go to the moon someday."

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wondered if Lalna had shitty memory due to being cloned. This is my headcanon- there are only two clones of Lalna; one who made the jaffa factory, got fluxed up with Nano, and went to space; the other who went to Chaosville with Sjin and became a magic police officer. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
